Summertide

[紫陌]

Summertide

Before the summertide.
The deep winter is drawing on.
The cows are waiting for.
Snow diseases casting their cool.
After the deep winter.
Summertide ran soon before spring.
Everything has born soonly.
as the blossom and the breeze.
Breathe the cool air in the summertide.
A little sleepless eyes are looking for.
Animals found their foods from the green fields.
And a dreaming wind has waken up.
Soonly,you've come to the waisting long.
Rolled the slowly way and retired friendly.

夏初之前
那深冬正來臨
牛兒們也正等待
雪疾施展他們底冷酷
在深冬之後
夏初很快來在春天之前
萬物快速成長
如那搖逸花朵與微風
呼吸涼涼空氣在夏初
微酣雙眼也在尋覓著
動物們自草綠原野找尋食物
沈睡底風也甦醒過來
很快底，將有一段長航
繞著那緩慢道路友善底休憩

[ZY]

Before the summertide,
The deep winter was drawing on.
The cows were waiting for
Snow diseases to cast their cool.
After the deep winter,
Summertide ran soon before spring.
Everything were born quickly
as the blossom and the breeze
Breathed the cool air in the summertide.
A pair of little sleepless eyes were searching.
Animals found their foods from the green fields
And a dreaming wind has waken up.
"Soon, you've come to the waisting long
Rolled the slowly way and retired friendly. "


紫陌：
稍微修改了一些文法。末兩行，對妳的句意不是很有把握，所以沒改動，但文法上實有問題。
因為公忙，沒辦法花時間，細改妳的每首詩，就以這一首了。
妳的英詩，建議仍需找一位“英文老師”，幫妳修改，也加強基礎英語。。文法都正確了，方可能談到成功、精彩的詩創作哪！
繼續加油！

ZY

[紫陌]

麻煩ZY了，真是不好意思，嗯，我會加油的。目前有在自己閱讀賀氏文法電子報，因為找不到這樣的老師啊，只能靠自己自修；多讀多看，多寫，但是雖然己經很努力了，還是錯誤百出，真對不起ZY還要幫我改詩，抱歉。
我寫完一首時會先問問網友意見再PO，會謹慎一點。謝謝麻煩了。